please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
