I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
