a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
