U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
