Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
