I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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