Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
