Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
