Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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