This is not my ceiling
okay pat passed out under dana's car
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
