I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize