ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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