I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
