So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
