absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
