Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
