Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
