He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
