She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
