so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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