Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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