can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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