You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
