he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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