You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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