When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
