its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So much rum. So many feels.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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