It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
