it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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