Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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