dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
