Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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