are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
