Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
