i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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