Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
