my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
