his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
