look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize