So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
