My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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