This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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