She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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