Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
