oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
