Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Will exercising make me less horny?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
