Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
