Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I understand Curling. That high.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
