we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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