So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
