I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
