How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
