Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
