okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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