College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize