I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
