UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize