we have officially lost it.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
