New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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