Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
