There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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