I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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