she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
