Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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