she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
