why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
