I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
