Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
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